Natalia Takena: “You Need to Live Here and Now”

With the onset of the pandemic, you moved your professional activities online. Was this difficult?

There was a moment of stillness. I was unsure how to establish a trusting relationship with clients in an online format. Previously, I believed this was only possible through in-person contact while being in the same room as the person. Before the pandemic, I hadn’t actively developed my social media presence, but I had to learn new skills and understand the mechanisms of advertising and self-promotion on social platforms. I began to promote myself on Instagram, informing people that I was offering online consultations. This resonated with many.

As the pandemic began, not only did my offline life come to a halt. Everyone faced challenges regarding self-realization and family issues. I quickly adapted to the new work format, as I saw a strong response from clients. After the lockdown, I can say that working online has been beneficial for me. It expanded my horizons; I can see clients both in my office and online. People often find themselves in situations where they need to talk right here and now. Additionally, in an online format, I can accomplish more tasks. I learn and work at the same table, saving time on travel from point A to point B.

Do your clients have issues adapting to life in the new online space?

Before the pandemic, each of our lives was busy. We lived in a world of chaotic consumption, and people were quite egocentric. However, this mindset is only acceptable for children under 10. This leads to communication problems and an overall distorted perception of life. Families formed at a young age—those who have been together since school—have especially struggled. Time moves on, and we change and develop, but many didn’t have time to get to know their loved ones in their new forms. The pandemic confined these individuals to the limited space of their homes. What emerged? Many families discovered they were simply unfamiliar with each other. Once again, we face communication issues. Previously, you might have just slept in the same apartment; now you are together 24/7. The stress levels were exceptionally high during that time.

People living alone also faced new challenges during this period. They encountered total loneliness. Typically, lonely individuals are very socially active, but that activity vanished. They found themselves alone with their fears, thoughts, and worries. It was tough for them. All these individuals sought help from psychologists.

What Should Lonely People Do in Such Cases?

One option is to try dating sites—simply for communication, to talk. If during your conversation you realize the person isn’t right for you, it’s easy to end it. For many (though not all), it’s easier to start a dialogue through messaging. Additionally, focus on your hobbies. Some enjoy cooking, others like exercising. You could create your page and showcase your baking skills—this is all about expanding your boundaries. Consider learning foreign languages; find a language partner and practice—again, this leads to new acquaintances. Read books and watch good movies. I also recommend spending time connecting with your relatives—video calls can keep those connections alive; communicate regularly. Time passes, and people change. Another excellent way to spend time at home is by getting pets. Consider adopting a kitten, puppy, or hamster and devote your love and attention to them. Most importantly, learn to enjoy every new experience because tomorrow will not be the same as yesterday or today. Look deeper.

You’ve Mentioned Many Benefits of Online Life, but What Are Its Drawbacks?

For teenagers, this is the most challenging period. Ages 14 to 18 are crucial for socialization. Parents become secondary as peer relationships emerge. Social interaction is vital for teenagers. If parents confine their child within four walls and restrict socializing with friends, it can lead to adolescent depression. Pay attention to your child: if they lie around doing nothing for a week, it’s time to take action. Don’t dismiss everything as bad behavior; consult neurologists or psychologists to help support your children.

Many people developed a fear of death and became more anxious during this time. However, every disadvantage can also present an advantage. For example, the fear of death has prompted people to realize that life is finite and should not be wasted. People began to introspect. A lot of families also fell apart during the pandemic, which is a negative outcome—but it also offers an opportunity for these individuals to find happiness in new relationships.

There Are Many Photos of Perfect Bodies and Stories of Success on Social Media. How Can One Avoid Comparing Themselves to Others?

It’s essential to understand that Instagram is just images—nobody shares their real life there. Indeed, many women’s self-esteem dropped during the pandemic as they started undervaluing themselves while looking at photos of 25-year-olds in Dubai with luxurious cars, wondering how they achieved such success. Don’t even think about it! That person might just be passing through; it may not even be their life at all. In my consultations, I help women regain their self-esteem. Everyone has their own values: for some, it’s family; for others, it’s career or children. We know nothing about that “ideal” woman in the photo—perhaps she cries at night, but no one shows you that side of her life.

Never compare yourself to others; you don’t know their starting point (family wealth, education level, important connections) that affects how quickly they achieve their goals. You also don’t know what sacrifices they made along the way, so feelings of envy are misplaced. To avoid wasting energy on thoughts about others’ successes, compare your present self only with your past self. Occasionally look back and praise yourself for how far you’ve come. Don’t devalue your journey!

Do Your Clients Often Reflect on the Fleeting Nature of Time? Do You Address These Concerns?

Yes, generally these thoughts are triggered by a fear of death and uncertainty about the future. It’s important to understand that you must live here and now. In such cases, we can work on daily planning and setting short-term goals. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize your tasks; this can help reduce stress levels. Tasks you categorize as “not urgent and not necessary” are often unnecessary—they’ve been imposed on you by others. This approach will free up a lot of time for you.

Don’t focus too much on long-term plans; while having a direction is important, the pandemic has shown us how quickly things can change.

For example, I’m currently working with a client who wants to lose weight. Instead of aiming for a target weight of 50 kilograms, we set a goal of losing 500 grams over two weeks. If you exceed that goal, your motivation will increase—and there will be more joy in achieving it! There’s a wonderful saying: “Eat an elephant one small bite at a time.” We move toward our goals step by step.

What Would You Like to Wish Our Readers?

Learn to hear and feel each other. Don’t hide from your loved ones; seek ways into their hearts. Only those close to you can help you navigate the realities of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. A person needs another person.

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